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March 3, 2011
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It started as a twitch
an itch
a tickle on the base of my single arm.
There it is again! Just
a tiny little pin prick of feeling.
Feeling
Feeling
I'm feeling. And I can feel
the heat inside me
coming from the tea
that was poured mere seconds before.
Feeling
Feeling
I can feel fingers grasp my arm
Pulling up, tugging, higher
higher
into the air.
Cold air tickles on my porcelain white
skin, cools the hot tea till it is
just right.
And then lips kiss me,
hug tight to me and I
am tipping, falling
towards my holder.
And for a moment, I am
loved, hugged tight by two
warm hands that cradle
cuddle
bring me closer for another
kiss.
All good things must end
and I am set down
down
down
onto the cold table once again. I'm
less warm and less loved.
What started as a twitch
an itch
was me, living
breathing
loving
Loving what I am and who
I am.
Seeing the world around me for the
first time
the counters of polished
marble,
the cabinets in honeyed oak.
I can see the plants in the sunshine.
I can see the sunshine,
can feel it. I'm
in a puddle of it, drinking
in its warmth just as my holder
drank from me.
As I am lifted again by the
caressing fingers,
I can see more, the warm colors of
silken curtains
and
wool rugs.
Kisses, kisses, fall upon my skin
as if they were the rain
from the faucet.
And slowly the warmth goes
fades
dies.
There is no more and the
hands put me down in a cold
wet
place where I know the
storm clouds gather.
The rain begins,
my vision clouded by the
water droplets that fall from the skies.
It is warm,
hot almost, and the steam
swirls up
like dragons swooping in the sky.
A dry towel smothers me
covers me
wiping away the wet and I know
that the same
caressing fingers
are there again.
For the final time, I am set
down
down.
In the dark, with others
of my kind.
There are many others but today?
I was the one,
the loved
the chosen.
Here now, in the dark, I
am satisfied. I am sated
and comfortable
cozy
happy.
I cannot keep my eyes open
but I do not want
to sleep and forget
all
that
has happened today. Persuasive
sleep drags me towards
the ocean
the tide
that bring rest on its waves.
So I will close my eyes for
a minute
a second
a moment
and I will sleep. But I will not
forget how I could feel.
I was
Feeling
Feeling.
For Bring Me To Life [link]

Can anyone guess what my object is? I'll bet you can...
:noir:
Add a Comment:
 
:iconthe-spork-alliance:
The-Spork-Alliance Featured By Owner May 2, 2011
Aww Holly!! You should bring this to Writers, it's absolutely lovely, you wonderful, sweet, little thing, you. <3
Reply
:iconproud-2-b-rainbow:
proud-2-b-rainbow Featured By Owner May 2, 2011  Student Writer
Aww, thanks Russia!!!
:noir:
Reply
:iconjaythe:
jaythe Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
This is a very unique take on the subject "bring me to life"! I really enjoy your interpretation of a teacup's life--it brings to mind images that I wouldn't normally envision while thinking of a teacup.

You've skillfully shown the beauty within inanimate objects, and created a portrayal of a teacup that is near overflowing with subtle emotion. There is joy and sadness within this piece, making it poignant and memorable.

Great job!
Reply
:iconsartosis:
Sartosis Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2011  Student Writer
Well, where to begin with such a dynamic and creative piece.
It would be very hard to place a single point when there are so many to be made!

First, the way the poem keeps to the beat in the readers head, is really intelligent.
By using the double repeated words, such as: feeling, feeling; there is a specific rhythm that can be very independent. Hence why such a piece stood out, and quite rightly!

Another key point about the piece is that the imagery used in the poem is very imaginative, using the idea of tea cups life, and obviously personifying it. This can be done well or badly, and in this case, it has succeeded greatly.

The usage of emotions brings the teacup to life mentally. This builds up to make one believe that it is physically alive. The perceptive view that this poem as decided to take was risky, but certainly paid off. To go from a positive angle and then deepen to a hopeful negative is a skilful technique, which demands not only structure and forethought, but also talent.

There are very few mistakes that can catch the eye, possibly not literally but also deeper methods, which require interpretation.

One improvement, maybe, that due to the initial simplistic impression is stretched out slightly, into a longer poem, but this could be due to the need of detail to complete the piece.
The readers may find themselves confused with the wording and length of sentences to get an accurate view of the rhythm; then again, others may find it relatively easy. Such is the case with a diverse piece as this.

In conclusion, it has to be said that the imagery, presentation, rhythm and ideals that are in this piece, certainly make it deserve a high ranking in the competition, the rest is completely up to you!
Reply
:iconay-my-gulay:
Ay-My-Gulay Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Student Traditional Artist
I never thought of a tea cup this way,great work^^
Reply
:iconproud-2-b-rainbow:
proud-2-b-rainbow Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you very much, it means a lot!
:noir:
Reply
:icondani-the-naiad:
Dani-the-Naiad Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
[link] !!!!!!!! :worship: CONGRATS!
Reply
:iconproud-2-b-rainbow:
proud-2-b-rainbow Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2011  Student Writer
Thank you so much! I told my parents... that sounds really stupid but it's the first thing I've ever entered writing in and... just thank you...
:noir:
Reply
:icondani-the-naiad:
Dani-the-Naiad Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
Amazing! You should enter more writing, then. :nod:
Reply
:iconfrozen-fyre:
frozen-fyre Featured By Owner Mar 12, 2011
This is really unique. I'm worried now. XD (I'm in the contest, too.) Great little tea cup ^^ :heart:~ Good luck!
Reply
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